When my kids were little, I was a contented mother hen.  My children fit neatly and completely under my two protective wings.  I loved being the one whom they depended on for love, food, clean clothes, a clean house, encouragement and comfort.  Taking advantage of my role, I used our time to teach them about the important things of life.  Under my wings I could monitor them as well as protect them. Life was good with me in control!

Then, all too quickly Troy was ready for Junior High, and 2 years later so was Kyle.  I was just a shade below terrified!  I didn’t know a thing about the kids they’d meet, the teachers they’d have, how many gang bangers, drug users, or foul mouthed kids attended that school, and whether or not my children would be sucked into those deviant lifestyles!  (This was in the 1990’s, so I cringe to think what mothers’ concerns are these days!) Well, I couldn’t keep them from school, and so I covered them with prayer and sent them off. 

One day not long after Kyle began Junior High, my fears were realized when I went to pick him up from school.  As I pulled up to the curb 2 girls ran up and threw their arms around him to give him a lengthy good-bye hug. Who they were and why they were trying to seduce my 7th grade son was beyond me!   My first thought was to jump out of the car and use my purse to beat the girls back and tell them that Kyle was just not that kind of boy. It must have been God’s intervention, though, because instead, I waited until he got in the car and used the ride home to teach him about boundaries!  

It turned out that the whole junior high/high school experience boiled down to what my children chose to make of it, not what strangers inflicted upon them. (That held true for our daughter, Beth, who entered Junior High 7 years later.) Thankfully, all of my children used the good sense God gave them to choose nice friends and steer clear of those that might lead them down the wrong path. All in all God answered my prayers for them, and I survived the whole experience! 

One issue we dealt with was that for some of my children, becoming a teenager brought along with it attitude that we’d never seen before. Sometimes there were explosions of anger.  Of course that meant lots of confrontations and arguments that didn’t do much to promote peace in our home.  Looking back at journals that I wrote during those times, I was reminded of how “hands on” God was at answering my prayers for them.  I saw God bring about change of heart and attitude (in all of us) that has been amazing.  God has surrounded my kids with wonderful friends they are still close with to this day.

God has used my kids over the years to bring about huge reality checks for myself. Having teenagers in the house meant jobs, cars, and more and more time spent out from under my wings!  Even worse, whatever my opinion had been worth for my pre-teenagers now played second fiddle to their peer’s opinions. All of this served to intensify my perceived need to control them. Though I knew they no longer were the little chicks under my wings, I desperately tried to make them fit there!  I tried manipulation, guilt, and everything short of standing on my chicks’ backs with reins in their beaks to keep them on course! What I failed to understand was that while I may have been able to  control certain actions or activities, still I could not control their hearts. That meant that ultimately I was really only polishing appearances.

I’m so grateful that God has taught me to turn my fears and frustrations into prayer.  Admittedly, over the years He has had to review those lessons with me time and again.  While my kids no longer fit under my wings, God has plenty of room under His, so I continually place my children there in prayer. I can’t control, but the Holy Spirit can certainly tenderize hearts! 

Oh Father God, Surely You have poured out Your grace on us.  The biggest evidence of this is that in spite of my mountain of blunders, my children still love me! I’m beyond grateful that though my children are no longer in my nest, they are never out of Your watchful, loving eye. Thank You!